Kirkland Signature is worth $86 billion. Let that sink in for a second — a store brand, the kind of label most people associate with cut-rate knockoffs, is worth more than some Fortune 500 companies. Costco’s private label has earned a cult following for good reason: the olive oil is great, the vodka is legendary, and the rotisserie chicken basically runs the American dinner table. But here’s the thing — not everything with that Kirkland label on it is a winner. Some products are so bad they’ve spawned entire Reddit threads of regret. And a few have been yanked from shelves entirely.
The Toilet Paper Everybody Loves to Hate
If there’s one Kirkland product that generates genuine anger — not mild disappointment, but fury — it’s the toilet paper. Those towering packs of Kirkland TP look like such a smart buy. Bulk pricing, decent sheet count, minimal branding. What could go wrong? Apparently a lot. Customers have called it thin, rough, and about as soft as a paper grocery bag. Plumbers, who arguably know more about toilet paper performance than anyone alive, have reportedly called it one of the worst brands you can buy.
Multiple Reddit users blame the pandemic for its decline. The theory goes that during the great TP shortage of 2020, quality took a hit and just… never recovered. Meanwhile, the price went up. So you’re paying more for something that was apparently better three years ago. Unless you’re stocking up for a prank, maybe keep walking past those shrink-wrapped towers.
Cold Brew That Tastes Like It Was Brewed in a Radiator
Cold brew coffee is supposed to be smooth. That’s literally the whole point. You steep grounds at low temperatures for hours to avoid the bitterness that hot brewing can cause. It’s a forgiving method with a wide margin for error. So when Costco shoppers describe Kirkland’s canned cold brew as bitter, burnt, and sour — all at the same time — something went seriously sideways. One Reddit commenter insisted it couldn’t actually be cold-brewed, claiming it tasted like it had been “heated in a massive vat somewhere and piped into the cans.”
Other reviews are just as brutal. “Tastes like dirty water.” “The most awful coffee product I’ve ever tried.” When every grocery store in America sells a dozen better alternatives, there’s really no reason to suffer through this one. Hard pass.
Spiced Rum You’d Rather Pour Down the Drain
Costco sells a surprising amount of booze, and plenty of it is solid. The Kirkland vodka and tequila both have their fans. But the spiced rum? That’s a different story altogether. One detailed review on the r/rum subreddit gave it a 2 out of 10, describing it as having “a bitter, medicinal quality” with aromas of vanilla and “the smell of a worn-out rubber band.” Which is… not what you want from something you’re putting in your body voluntarily.
Most damning might be this: people say it doesn’t even taste good when mixed with Pepsi. If you can’t hide a rum behind cola, it’s broken. One Redditor said they’d rather eat Merino wool socks than drink another glass. The cloying vanilla flavor appears to be masking low-quality base spirits, and not doing a very convincing job of it. Save your money and grab Captain Morgan if you’re on a budget.
Remember the Mac and Cheese? Neither Does Costco.
This one is sort of legendary in the Costco community because it was so bad the company actually pulled it from shelves. The Kirkland Signature Boxed Mac and Cheese was supposed to compete with Kraft and Annie’s. Instead, it became a cautionary tale. Shoppers described it as bland, starchy, and “weirdly off” — the kind of vague badness that’s almost harder to forgive than something specifically terrible.
One person claimed their college roommate ruined a good pot making the stuff. Another said the cashier told them “everyone thought it was horrible” when they returned it. That’s a pretty rough sign when the person scanning your refund already knows why you’re bringing it back. Costco now stocks Kraft and Annie’s, and their prepared foods section has its own mac and cheese — all vastly superior options.
Protein Bars That Might Chip Your Teeth
With protein dominating every corner of the wellness world right now, it makes sense that Kirkland would offer a protein bar. At 21 grams of protein per bar, the specs look fine on paper. Flavors like brownie and chocolate chip cookie dough sound promising enough. And then you bite into one. Reviewers consistently describe them as dry, chalky, and dense in a way that borders on structural. One person on the Costco subreddit actually claimed a Kirkland protein bar chipped their tooth.
There are also consistency issues. Some flavors are apparently tolerable — peanut butter gets a grudging pass from a few users — while cookies and cream has been called straight-up inedible. When the quality changes from box to box, that’s a trust problem. Plenty of other brands offer better taste and more variety, and they won’t send you to the dentist.
Trash Bags That Smell Worse Than the Trash
You know how scented trash bags are supposed to help? They’re designed to mask the inevitable grossness of whatever’s rotting inside. Kirkland’s scented trash bags somehow manage to make the problem worse. The lavender scent has been described as aggressively artificial and genuinely stomach-turning. One furious customer put it perfectly: “These things smell worse than the literal garbage they carry.”
And that’s not even the weird part — they also reportedly leak and tear easily. So you’ve got a bag that fails at containing garbage AND fails at smelling decent. A two-for-one failure, which, honestly, is kind of impressive in its own awful way. Unscented bags from just about any brand would be an upgrade here.
Those Burnt Ends Are Barely BBQ
Heat-and-eat products are tricky. Done right, they save you hours. Done wrong, they’re a reminder of why you should’ve just cooked from scratch. Kirkland’s burnt ends fall squarely in the second camp. Real burnt ends — the crispy, caramelized brisket chunks that are the crown jewel of Kansas City barbecue — are smoky, tender, and deeply flavorful. These are none of those things.
Costco members describe the Kirkland version as chewy, dry, and oddly flavorless despite being drenched in sauce. One Redditor compared them unfavorably to a stack of McRibs, which is about as devastating a BBQ insult as you can deliver. They’ve been returned more often than reheated, according to multiple threads. If you want decent brisket, you’re going to have to put in a little more effort than opening a package.
Batteries That Slowly Destroy Your Electronics
This is the one that shows up on practically every “worst Kirkland products” thread on Reddit. Kirkland batteries work fine at first. They power your remotes, your clocks, your kids’ toys. And then, quietly, they start leaking. Alkaline battery leakage is always a risk with any brand, but Kirkland’s track record seems to be notably worse than average.
One user reported a decade of consistent leaking across every battery size. Others said they’d given up on both Kirkland and Duracell after leaks damaged electronics beyond repair. That’s the real cost — it’s not just the $15 for the battery pack, it’s the $200 device that gets corroded. For something this critical, name-brand lithium batteries or Energizer might be worth the premium.
A Few More That Didn’t Make the Cut (But Almost Did)
Beyond the headliners, there are a handful of other Kirkland items that get regular complaints. The giant chicken pot pie sounds amazing — rotisserie chicken, flaky crust, creamy filling, about $20 for a massive pie — but it’s apparently loaded with enough sodium to preserve a pharaoh. Soggy bottoms and dry filling round out the disappointment. The bakery cinnamon rolls look like a Cinnabon rival but reportedly eat like a beach towel, according to one particularly vivid Reddit review. At $12.99 a tray, that’s an expensive letdown.
The Kirkland organic marinara sauce also gets dinged regularly. For $25 for a three-pack, you’d expect something decent, but shoppers call it watery and bland. The frozen pepperoni pizza has been called “terrible” and “practically inedible,” which is especially painful when you consider that frozen pizza has an absurdly low bar to clear. Even the laundry detergent and shampoo get mixed reviews — the detergent reportedly struggles with tough stains, and the shampoo can leave hair dry and rough. Not every Kirkland product needs to be amazing, but these ones aren’t even clearing “acceptable.”
Costco’s return policy means you can always bring stuff back, and that’s genuinely one of the best things about shopping there. But a smarter move is to check the Reddit threads before you commit to a bulk purchase — because 48 rolls of bad toilet paper or a three-pack of bland marinara is a lot of product to regret. Stick with the Kirkland winners, and when in doubt, grab the name brand sitting right next to it on the shelf.
